Paul Lambert - Ma Ma

Ma Ma

Part One

Joe's girlfriend generally misses laughing. She is so hot. I went to the fridge and got out a Coca-Cola for her. She sat in front of the fan drinking her pop dripping with sweat. This is worse than New Delhi.

Have you always loved sleeping on the couch? She works out a lot almost every day. Why did those news announcers dislike jumping? I think everyone should jump up and down more.

Was Michael enjoying running early in the morning before work every day last month? Working out bicycling and running all build endurance and strength.

Wasn't Dick missing talking on the street? He lives somewhere else now and we miss him. No one talks anymore. We just sit.

The musicians have missed playing since a few days ago. Their instruments were stolen and sold for drugs by Texans.

We've tried to include music features in the program for students with many disabilities. I needed Spanish Cha Cha Cha music in my classroom.

I asked my team leader and Spanish Cha Cha Cha music was added. Next thing we want to work on with the children is jumping up and down, sky diving and post-modern poetry.

I wanted something to engage the students who are not interested in language, thus musical interludes and modern dance movement was incorporated into my lesson plan schedule. I wanted to be able to change the prompts (music, movements, etc.) on-the-fly.

We wanted to provide for those requiring an augmentative communication device and so the Bertozzi symbols are included and can morph from the photographs.

I wanted a cause-and-effect program for my students who didn't understand the automatic scan. The Switch-On-Poets activity was developed.

We realized more types of scans would be advantageous. Three types of scanning routines have been added. I wanted 2 and 3 piece puzzles. Here they are plus four more: (2) (3); (2) X 4 and (3) X 4.

One of my parents wanted Dr. Seuss types of stories with real pictures. We wrote some 'ditties' and developed the post-modern talking story Poetry Story-Time.

The musicians have missed playing since a few days ago. Without instruments they have tried forming a soccer team.

I am a teacher of preschool children with disabilities and don't know much about soccer or any sports for that matter.

I have tried making software for the children in my classrooms for the last eight years. Over the past 18 years I have encountered many types of disabilities and many types of parents.

The question is if the parent sits across from me and the parent licks their lips while at the same time opens their legs very wide.

As a professional educator am I required to work harder to meet goals or simply continue discussing next weeks lesson plans and ignore inappropriate behavior?

Doesn't Sarah remember shouting slowly almost in a whisper?
Doesn't Kate's granddaughter miss shaving for a few months?.

14. Ninety six bottles of beer, three a's, three b's, one c, two d's, twenty eight e's, seven f's, three g's, eight h's, thirteen i's, four l's, sixteen n's, nine o's, nine r's, twenty six s's, twenty t's, four u's, four v's, six w's, five x's, and five y's on the wall...

I missed shouting carefully too. My team won the Rose Bowl.

We've tried to include features in the program for students with many disabilities. I needed Spanish in my classroom, so Spanish was added.

I wanted something to engage students who are not infested with language, thus musical interludes and movement were incorporated.

I wanted to be able to change the prompts (music, movements, etc.) on-the-fly.

We wanted to provide for those requiring augmentative communication device and so the Bertozzi symbols are included and can morph from the photographs.

I wanted a cause-and-effect program for my students who didn't understand the automatic scan.

The Switch-On-Poets activity was developed. We realized more than three types of scans would be advantageous. Three types of scanning routines have been added. Now we have six.

I wanted 2 and 3 piece puzzles. Here they are. (1) (2) (3) (7) One of my parents wanted Dr. Seuss types of stories with real pictures. We wrote some 'ditties' and there's the Post-Modern Poetry Story-Time Hour every day during dream-time.

Sometimes the kids pee on each other or stab each other with pencils. I recognize this as a sign of student unrest.

I didn't miss jumping for three or four weeks. But at least once a month I need to go out to the airport and spend all day sky diving.

Those police officers are practicing driving between the two buildings then after the shift they go over to Grumpy's and drink beer and try to pick up chicks.

Best regards Kitty Stanford and ask again please if doesn't Kate's granddaughter miss shaving for a few months?

The photographer isn't enjoying taking pictures of the fighting. He says it smells.

He wants to take art photo's of me nude running and playing miniature golf. He doesn't care if my upper lip is hairy.

Don't you regret eating only about once a week? I eat more often than that usually. Try eating at least once a day again.

Tell me when you have loved singing. The doors are closed. You can tell me. Did Anthony miss running? Joseph has just now remembered walking. He has a full beard and it's dyed black.

Dad took Jack out to the barn to help with the milking just now and smiled to himself that his oldest was going to college and would lead a better life than what this old farm could offer.

Did those French students miss eating their gourmet type food last winter? I have just practiced talking French a lot.

The Public Prosecutor sat with the women at the restaurant bar and began to flirt with the one of them a blonde.

The Governor wanted to meet her himself. So he sent a State Trooper over to the Public Prosecutor with a message to x-nay with the parley ok?

St. Joseph has just remembered sleep-walking all night long. Why Mary was ignoring him and spending so much time away from home was too much. Her behavior gave him a headache.

I am enjoying eating with her when we canoe on the river. When we stopped to have our picnic she let me kiss her and feel her breasts. I said does your husband know? She said he just ignores me have another sandwich.

Was Michael enjoying running early before work last month? One of the lawyers leaning against the bar gave him a cool look and said I'll be seeing you in court. The jazz band was playing softly in the background.

Don't those singers dislike playing carelessly? Hey it's a gig and steady jobs are hard to find. They love dancing. He holds me so close and it feels so good.

Don't those teachers often love jogging? Yes and riding bikes too. 10. Ninety six bottles of beer, three a's, three b's, one c, two d's, thirty six e's, three f's, two g's, seven h's, eleven i's, one j, one k, six l's, one m, twenty n's, twelve o's, one p, one q, six r's, twenty eight s's, nineteen t's, seven v's, seven w's, six x's, and five y's on the wall.

I don't miss jumping for three or four weeks. As long as the boat is close enough to the beach. For me the plane must be high enough in the air. I don't know but the mattress must be soft and clean.

Thanks Johnny some store clerks like working in London. I like to visit but just relax and leave the clerking to them that does it best. You know it baby. I love you.

Toro Torero came to me at age 52 months. He had 2 words: Ma Ma and Bye Bye. He could not focus, but ran around the room.

His mother was convinced I was going to have him cured by his third birthday. I told her I was no miracle worker, but we'd do what we could during the next 48 months. Immediately we started structuring Torero's day.

I went home and worked up a program called 'Toro Torero's Nouns'. The first day I showed Toro Torero the program, he looked at it for 10-15 seconds and then left the computer.

The next day he stayed about 30 seconds. Each day he built up more time at the computer. By the second week, he would sit on my lap for 10 minutes pressing whichever word he wanted to hear.

But he spoke no sounds, no words. Three years passed.

I began berating myself. 'See, Johnny, you thought this noun program was so great. Look at Toro Torero, he's not learning anything.'

The fourth year Toro walked over to the computer, picked up the overlay from the keyboard, pointed to 10 different words and approximated each word.

That day, I cried. I cried and cried all day and most of the night. My wife video taped me and then calling me the "Crying Man". She began selling the tapes on e-bay. Have you heard of them?


Part Two

Rod was a boy with UPS Syndrome. He was taking several medications. Rod came from a nurturing family and extended family who provided him with every opportunity.

His mother was a teacher and wanted what was best for him. He exhibited no language and was considerably behind his other friends with UPS Syndrome. We set up a noun program at school.

At first he seemed disinterested. He looked at the pictures and sucked his thumb. The more we encouraged him to engage the keyboard, the more he sucked his thumb.

We then paired him with a child who was very interested in the noun program. Suddenly the two were fighting over who was next to pick a picture. I knew the solution was close at hand.

I had saved an advertisement from the paper that offered a guaranteed answer to this specific problem but I couldn't find the newspaper. I'm afraid my housecleaner might have thrown it away or re-cycled it. Whatever it was gone for good.

He worked several times a week at the computer. At his 3-year IEP, the team shook their heads. They didn't understand. Despite the track record of many students with UPS Syndrome, he was losing boxes well shipping them to the wrong location every time.

Rod's language was his best skill. I looked his mother straight in the eye and told her one day Rod will talk. I smiled and his mother winked at me.

Her skirt was very tight and short. As a professional I knew trying to stare at her panties was the wrong thing to do but I couldn't help myself.

That's when I first considered telling her my theory of the Christian Family and why as a Christian she should consider having sex with me.

At the time I explained that as a professional I was also a Christian father and that I could effectively manage diverse personalities and show empathy and be sensitive to the feelings of others who were lonely.

I was showing her genuine respect warmth and special consideration and wanted to encourage a climate for action. During this holiday season I said let's not be forgetting the true meaning of Christmas.

I began to speak with her about my ideas concerning Christianity's First Family Jesus Mary and Joseph and their core loneliness as a family.

I pointed out that although Joseph and Mary formed the first most holy and important marriage bond and family of Christianity that they slept in twin beds and their child was not a natural child but a special child from God just like her son Rod was a special child.

Because Joseph for whatever holy reason did not like sleeping with Mary or vice versa God the Father had to arrange a special holy way for Mary and Joseph to have their child.

The Husband and Wife in the First Family were childless in that the baby Jesus had no little brothers and sisters to play with and love.

And our bible study teaches that Jesus grew to be a man who took no wife and had no family also. So if the First family wasn't having sex with each other what did God mean to teach us by that?

The loneliness of abstinence for life? I don't think so. This was not the message that God meant for Christians to take from the Holy Family. But maybe to have sex outside the family unit.

This is the true meaning of Christmas. Besides the liquor is quicker message we get from Jesus turning water to wine for the wedding party.

That's when she said, God want's me to have sex with you at Christmas time? There are a lot of big games on TV next week aren't there? Did Alfred's niece like playing the flute as well?

Why were those farmers practicing shouting next to the police station? The pig calling contest at the fair was coming up but they must have been drunk. The police didn't think it was funny.

Don't those singers dislike playing carelessly out of tune and when they forget the lyrics they just make something up.

I didn't miss jumping for three or four weeks. Once we were ordered to load up and drive to the troop transports I knew we were in for it.

The science teachers practiced fighting. The history teachers practiced laughing. The philosophy teachers practiced holding their farts as long as possible while indoors anyway they could.

That's when Dr. Al and Dr. John pulled out these little rubber butt-plugs from France. I said Jesus H Christ will you put them back in.

3. There was a student of semiotics named Alice B Toklas.

4. One more time I walked around the table hoping against hope that she would stop eating the pizza and realize I was there but she just kept on eating.

5. But who cares said I ha ha. So I went back to my lonely institute and spent the next three weeks making a piece of simple software for her son to her specifications.

While I was at it, I put 4-8 pictures on the screen as well. That made the computer crash. I asked my neighbor who sold used computers for a new hard drive with lots of memory.

He got me a Giga-841Z2D. The power of that thing was beyond belief. It could model anything I came up with.

I went back to work. Working night and day for hours or five hours even more sometimes if I had one of those special coffee drinks from a coffee shop and a croissant.

I had all the grad students working with me around the clock. All I could think of were her panties and her smile. Plus getting the job done safely on time and under budget.

The simple program was quickly finished and ready for her child to see.

As I was presenting it the other children in my classroom were pushing each other to get to the computer screen to touch that thing and hear the word spoken again and again.

They jumped up and down. That's when it came to me in a flash and I said under my breath, they could all be paratroopers!

Then we would have enough troops to attack the other countries like Finland and France. All the "F" countries.

They want the oil too. Then I'd get my grant for sure. Maybe I'd even meet the President. I could eat from the dollar menu every single day of the week.

Hey kids look at me. I looked at those kids and was amazed. I put my hands up above my head and twirled on my tip-toes singing grunting chattering like a happy monkey in the forest and why?

There was no music, no animation, nothing cute about this program at all just real pictures with real words. I was stunned. I just watched the children.

Within 10 minutes, several children who had never said a word in their life, made approximations of several words. I was hooked.

First I've got them talking and next they will be walking and finally jumping out of airplanes invading foreign countries.

But one step at a time. I must show them how easy it is to walk.


Part Three

She let me take her in her arms and even though the Rose Bowl game was on the television set we sort of did it during the half-time show. I still saw all the important plays even the weird lateral.

What's up with that? When Texas won the game I guess I squeezed her breast and she yelled not so hard. I yelled too. My team had won!

The question: But what have we seen? Relentless negative attacks against us all up and down the field. So in the weeks ahead, we know what's coming, don't we?

Have you liked skiing yet? Cross country skiing is very tiring though. The helicopter took me from the mountain directly to the hospital.

14. Ninety six bottles of beer, three a's, three b's, one c, two d's, twenty eight e's, seven f's, three g's, eight h's, thirteen i's, four l's, sixteen n's, nine o's, nine r's, twenty six s's, twenty t's, four u's, four v's, six w's, five x's, and five y's on the wall. .

Bye, Bye, Ma Ma
I was missing jumping.
Does Joe hate laughing over there?
cheese burger and cheese fries .... mmmmm.

Did those bus drivers regret singing?
Were those pilots practicing praying?
And what were the results? Let me tell you some stories.

Those police officers are practicing driving between the two buildings. They simply must wear their seat-belts or risk having their brains leak out their bodily orifices.

Now those police officers are practicing driving between the two buildings. Ok guys and Sandy put your belts on now. Don't fire your weapons unless you roll the window down first.

1. I don't hate studying in London. I like it.
Weren't those plumbers practicing talking French last month?

2. Don't you practice dancing as often as possible? I do.
I am not missing surfing. Tell me another joke.

14. Ninety six bottles of beer, three a's, three b's, one c, two d's, twenty eight e's, seven f's, three g's, eight h's, thirteen i's, four l's, sixteen n's, nine o's, nine r's, twenty six s's, twenty t's, four u's, four v's, six w's, five x's, and five y's on the wall. .

19. I am searching for a virtual friend...
Do you want to be that friend? Yes!

20. Il paese sta cadendo basicamente a parte.

22. Che cosa non è caduto a parte ancora è l'ottimismo, la riservatezza ed il mondo di sogno che la gente è dentro, ma quella sta andando accadere.

27. A questo proposito, le parole più allineare non possono essere parlate.

1. From where are you? The USA but that doesn't matter!
Your appearance neither for me I am from the south my amigo.
 
2. I will work for 24 hrs. then take a day off to jack-hammer the concrete for free mexican food with my new buddy from the south.

3. I didn't love dancing for two hours. I love dancing all night long. Do you practice driving in London? Have you ever been there?

4. Those janitors aren't missing sleeping right now. They're at work. I'm missing working right now. Soon I will be there again.

5. The guards don't often love reading.
Does Joe hate laughing over there?
Forever?

Ma Ma
January 9th 2006
Paul Thaddeus Lambert